straightboyfriend:

hardest thing to learn during recovery is….. some of your misery is your own fault. you have to actively choose to stop wallowing in your own pain & start to recover. that means stop being self deprecating, start taking care of yourself, start eating healthy, start taking your hygiene seriously, even if it’s hard. & it is hard! but you must.

hellanahmean:

Me @ myself 10 years ago: “do whatever it takes to get to Michfest”.

I really wish I got to go to more than just the last one

me too. and i wish i could have been there for more than just a week.

i think that’s partly what all this separatist discourse is missing. how many of these women arguing against it went to michfest? do they even know what it’s like to be in a truly female-only space? do they understand the weight of fear that is lifted off you? i doubt it. i wish they could experience it. i wish i could experience it again.

saltball:

vznx:

nomnomsandwich:

Secret Garden

Some drawings I did for our school exhibition ! 

hello-homophobes:

this separatism debate explains why i don’t identify as a feminist. i don’t care about couples therapy. you whine all day on the internet how dangerous and disrespectful men are until you get horny or lonely, then a boyfriend is what you deserve and it’s not men keeping you from a happily ever after with their terrible behavior, it’s lesbians telling you the truth. how you feel about your boyfriend is how moms feel about their sons, the boss who promoted a less qualified male coworker over you. it’s how sisters feel about their brother, the guy who raped you freshman year. everyone wants the men in their life to be the exception how we know men to be. it’s not your fault that females are burdened with pregnancy. it’s not your fault you were born sexually attracted to men. but when you throw a fit that an evil cabal of lesbians want you to die an old maid bc you don’t care about women’s rights you just want to get laid, and you don’t care that you don’t have any close female friendships bc you want a husband, don’t be shocked that we laugh at your sincere belief that men give your life meaning.

tokendyke:

i think we need to think about and acknowledge the fact that most, if not all, het women do not - to put it crudely - give one single shit about the historical and current oppression of lesbian women, nor do they show any sign of wanting to give up their heterosexual privileges by stopping engaging with men, despite the fact that doing so would almost immediately achieve genuine female liberation (men and women cannot exist together without males limiting and destroying women, as males cannot live without women). 

the reason patriarchy exists as it does today is because most women collaborate in it knowingly. saying this is not ‘victim-blaming’, it is pointing out that most women, for various reasons (which we, as lesbians, have no control over), will choose to sacrifice their bodily integrity, finances, even the safety of their children, to be with men. most women, ‘radfems’ or not, will still choose to have relationships with men, regardless of what men do. if you still want to try and pursue liberation despite this, stop preoccupying yourself with the behaviour/morals of het women and start believing in and building up your own life, find something you enjoy, work hard at preserving your sanity in an insane world, and connect with like-minded people and animals. particularly with other lesbians cos we’re the best. 

thentheysaidburnher:

When the expectation that you, as a woman, would choose women over men is decried as unreasonable, unfair, and unjust, your feminism is stunted. Choosing women is a condition of feminism. And yes, prioritizing women can be a sacrifice for many reasons (loss of privilege being a major one), but this has always been life or death. Working with women who are still so invested in men is like triage. Het relationships keep women in a state of emotional and physical emergency.

Choosing to do activism with women only, and choosing to live and work with women only, is revolutionary. Choosing to be with men is just status quo and that’s what it will always look like - even two steps forward and one step back is still forcing women to step back.

Think about where your energy goes. It is a limited resource and straight relationships do not return what they take.

forshitsandcackles:

do straight women have a role to play in rad fem? What is that role?

not to be a mean lesbian, but i think a better question would be do mlw have a role to play in heteropatriarchy? what is that role? and also maybe is it possible for them to stop playing that role? what conditions need to be met for the willing among them to be able to stop playing that role. how should the able but unwilling among them be regarded by women who suffer both misogyny and homophobia? where do girls and their safety and health rank in the priorities of the women’s liberation movements? is the goal of feminism women’s liberation or is it sth else?

dykedottir:

Bihet women believe they own feminism. But really it’s been built up by lesbians, specifically black and Jewish lesbians. So maybe stop telling lesbians we don’t understand the purpose of feminism?

The purpose of feminism is not to make your life with your bf or husband happier and more comfortable. It’s to free women. All women.

And if you can’t sacrifice a romantic relationship in order to free women, idk what to tell you.

Lesbians know loneliness. We know longing. And we know that women are strong enough to survive without having a romantic relationship.

Do not dare have the nerve to say we are unempathetic to what bihet women go through- we are women too, or have you forgotten again? Perhaps consider the ridiculous amount of emotional labor bihets demand from their lesbian sisters? We are not here to be your therapists. We aren’t here to give you our strength and our energy if you’re constantly going to turn around and waste your own on men.

I’m so tired of bihets saying separatism isn’t possible or realistic. That’s the whole fucking point of female only spaces. Or do you not really care about that? Is that just something you use in an argument on the Internet and don’t intend to actually support in real life?